Since taking up Michael's challenge, and mentioning it to various individuals, I have had literally tens of people asking me the same questions over and over again. After a certain amount of deliberation, I have now decided 'What the FAQ', I might as well lay these particular queries to rest for once and for all....With a peck on the cheek and a bedtime story. So please, before you ask me why I chose the RNIB as the charity that I would like to support, or which of the 500 from the list I would most like to meet, be kind enough to read below first. Thanks.
1) Hey Jules, what's your bet/challenge all about.- Look, if you actually have to ask this question having stumbled upon my website, where I have quite clearly explained the background of my bet on no less than FOUR occassions, then I assume that a) either you have an IQ that's lower than the residue on the underside of an elastoplast in a swimming pool gutter, or b) you suffer from an acute form of Attention Deficit Disorder, so stop drumming your finger's on the table and LISTEN! Bet with friend in pub - 500 celebrities - Meet as many of them as possible in 6 month period - Forfeits to be undertaken by the loser.
2) So why did you chose the RNIB as your specified Charity?- To be honest, there was initially no charity aspect to our bet, yet I then thought that I had no reason NOT to try and make money for charity, and that it might also encourage some of the 500 to meet me. Once decided, it was always going to be the Royal National Institute for the Blind, simply because I have always had huge sympathy and respect for visually impaired people, and have always said that this is the charity I would like to help if ever raising money.
3) It looks to me like you're just desperate to meet famous people?- That's simply not true mum. I'm really not that fussed about the concept of celebrity, but having said that, I do admit to being quite intrigued to see which of the individuals that I have written to will respond, which of them will actually meet me and which will I not here a peep from. So anyway what have we got for dinner....?
4) So is there anyone on the list of 500 that Michael drew up, that you would not want to meet or who you don't like?- Only two individuals, but until I am certain that they will not reply, I'd rather keep that to myself thanks.
5) But you can tell me, I won't tell anyone.- Look don't push it (2 years later) OK I can tell you now. At the time they were Ken Livingstone and George Galloway neither of whom I have any fond feelings for whatsoever. Ironically enough I did end up meeting Galloway....
6) Ok then, who on your list would you be keen to meet?- I guess I'd include Clare Balding, Kate Beckinsale, Derren Brown, Kathy Burke, Hugh Cornwell, Alan Davies, Jermaine Defoe, Keith Floyd, Anna Freil, Ricky Gervais, Kiera Knightley, Victor Lewis-Smith, Bob Mills, Simon Pegg, Jimmy Saville, Michaela Strachan and Julie Walters. Oh and I suppose it would be something of a coup if I 'greeted' Tony Blair.
7) Yeah well unlucky, 10 Downing street already replied, stating that he couldn't meet you. Anyway, who's Hugh Cornwell again?- The lead singer of the Stranglers you idiot.
8) Oh ok. And Sheridan Smith?- Oh yeah. Michael ensured she was on there. She was probably the first name down actually. She plays the girlfriend of Ralph Little in two popular sitcoms, The Royle Family and Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps. Michael has a minor obsession with her, but hopefully it's not got to the unhealthy stage yet.
9) So what's in it for you then? Why are you doing it?- Well my day job is just so boring you see. I generally get home from work feeling really bitter and twisted. You know, like a kilo of lemons in a food processor. I just wanted to do something exciting and something that I could channel my energy into. Not only that, but Michael is always making bets with me and he always seems so sure that he's right even when he clearly isn't. I remember once that he was 100% convinved that Christopher Walken played the part of Clay Shaw in JFK, when of course it was Tommy Lee Jones. Can't remember how much money I took off him for that one. Anyway, I would dearly love to see him elbow deep in cow (see forfeits) for his cocksure attitude.
10) By the way, I'm struggling with my Chemistry thesis. Can you explain the difference between Boyle's Law and Newton's Law?- No, I was no good at 'subjects' at school.
11) Try this one then. Does Charles Dance? - I dunno, is Barry White?