I've had a peaceful enough weekend which included a nice walk. I do like long walks (particularly when they're taken by people who annoy me) and now this dreary night gives me the perfect opportunity to unblock my toilet with sulphuric acid and update my website for one of the last times.
Let's cut to the chase shall we, which incidentally is not an expression to be used if you're about to watch 'Speed'.
Theoretically, I have 52 hours left until the bell rings and 'time gentlemen' is called on my bet with Michael. An appropriate analogy really, seeing as how this whole thing started after a conversation in The Crown, Cricklewood's finest gin palace (not a contradiction in terms).
That having been said, I must direct you to an email that I received from someone called 'Moshy', not sure what sex, about eight weeks ago.
"Jules. If your bet was to end New Year's Eve and Michael gave you 3 two-week extensions, surely your last day should be February 11th not the 14th."
Well spotted sir (or madam). Thanks for pointing that out but could you kindly shut your sasshole.
Michael doesn't need to be informed of this since being as numerically troubled as he is, he assumed that the extensions would take us to mid-february which is why the 14th was agreed upon.
Any road up, any of the 37,302 people who have checked this site since 12.01am yesterday morning (get some fresh air why don't you?) and who have clicked on the 'Tally' category, might be a little puzzled by the fact that I claim to have had 55 meetings and yet there are 57 names on the list of meetings had.
Permit me to explain.
As I wrote on 'Day 32' (August 1st), The Rt Hon William Hague became the second person to agree in principle to a meeting, although to refresh your memory, the letter from Kirsten, his PA read:
"On behalf of Mr Hague, I would like to thank you for your letter of 4th July concerning the challenge you have accepted.
Mr Hague would be happy to meet you though, now that the House is in recess, I am afraid that it will not be possible to make any arrangements until the autumn. However, if you would not mind, I will make a note to contact you then in order to agree a suitable time to meet."
I therefore put The Rt Hon's name on the list of meetings (date to be arranged) there and then, where it has remained ever since. I've also spoken to Kirsten a couple of times since but despite being an eternal optimist, I am now resigned to the fact that Mr Hague is probably too busy to accommodate me after all.
Either that, or else perhaps he never returned from his summer holiday in Magaluf.
Likewise, Jimmy Hill remains on the list since a meeting was arranged with him yet things didn't go quite according to plan. See 'Day 197.
Nope, I'm no oracle, nor indeed a ceefax, but I think it's safe to say that my final tally WILL be 56.
Despite the lovely Steph's best endeavours, it now seems unlikely that I'll have time to 'greet' Jermaine Defoe within the next 2 days. However, on the plus side, my great friend Michael (I don't use 'great' in the pejorative sense) has given me one final extension. It is of 1 day.
Whether or not I end up with 55 or 56 greetings is totally academical, like Hamilton, since I have surpassed the greetings target for forfeit 3 (over 54 greetings needed) and will end up only having to perform forfeits 1 & 2.
It was with that in mind that bubble-boy, who knows that I'm a big fan of The Stranglers, stated that he'd let my meeting with Hugh Cornwell stand despite it being 15 hours too late.
He mumbled something about me getting an extra day back from when I crossed the international date line.
For allowing me to meet one of my favourite musicians I am eternally in Micky's debt and would even consider bowing down at his feet (facing him I mean, you gutter-minds) but only if he has his shoes on.