I was going to write up a final list of faq's last Tuesday lunchtime and I was seeking a window of opportunity where my boss wasn't craning her neck over my workstation.
That's not to say that she's been doing so for the last 4 days solid and in fact I can categorically confirm that she is not presently suffering from a nasty strain to her C4 Cervical vertebra, it's just that I forgot.
So here are some answers to some questions that have been asked of me with unnerving, you might even say annoying, regularity over the last month or so.
1) So i'ts all over now. Who was the nicest person you met? Wow, this one really is growing a little wearisome now and is also something of a double edged sword. Do I single one or two people out and in so doing, risk alienating myself from the other 53 or 54 who granted me an audience, or do I utter some banal statement such as "Well actually they were all really nice. I don't think they'd have agreed to meet me if they weren't going to be nice to me."
2) What's the next challenge that you and Michael are going to come up with? If you really want to know the answer to this, please could you possibly first either fix your computer monitor or else wipe the crumbs of conjunctivitis from your eyes. I don't want to sound irritable but I really have answered this one many times over the last 225 days. I am not a career crazy-bet maker. I am not Dave Gorman (pay attention James), or Tony Hawks or indeed Danny Wallis. I have no desire to ever take part in something like this again. (Unless of course a publishing house or TV production company fancies paying me a six-figure sum to take part in 'Greeting the 500 USA' in which case I will smear anchovies over my chest, hop up and down on one leg and bark like a dog, if it pleases them. Sell out? you betcha)
3) Who are you most upset about not having met during your challenge? I'd have to say Victor Lewis-Smith (I am so 'not-worthy') and Kate Winslet, whose delightful creme fraiche complexion makes me want to scoop it out and eat it off a spoon, although not in a creepy way.
4) Are you actually single or not? Not entirely, no, although the young lady in question who I have recently enjoyed a minor folly with, has no desire to be mentioned on here. After all, she's seen the pictures of me posted on this website and in the papers and, quite rightly, wants what little dignity she has left to remain intact. Thanks for all of the offers though.
5) Who's going to win today's 5-Nations match between France and Italy? I don't know too much about rugby so I'd have to say the team that scores the most points.
6) Did you know that The Crown, where your bet was made, is the most common pub name in Britain? What's it like? No I didn't but thank you for that. I was always under the impression that the Red Lion was the answer to that particular question. As for the Cricklewood Crown, it's very large, attached to a hotel and has a disproportionate amount of East European clientele for some reason. Here's a picture of Michael and I having a drink there (that was requested and subsequently not used by a magazine which is running a piece on our bet).
7) Which football team do you support? Michael and I support the same team, which is how we first became friendly. I've given enough clues on here, I'm sure if you're that interested you can work it out.
8) What's the latest with the charity auction? All of the auctionable items will soon be in the posession of the RNIB. I haven't yet stolen them and I need to get rid of them because there's £40million worth of banknotes that are taking up too much space in my cupboard. The problem is that all of the gifts need to be labelled and transported to Judd Street. Unfortunately the job lot is quite heavy and although I know that I have the body of a weak and feeble woman I also have a VW Polo that doesn't work very well. Once the gifts are handed over, the auction itself will be under the direction of the RNIB. You WILL be updated.
9) It's a bit ironic that you started of on a quest to try and meet 500 'celebrities' and now you're a bit of a celeb yourself? Please! (and that's please as in "pur-leez" and not please as in "yes please") and pur-leez don't use the 'c' word (I mean celebrity).
10) Are you glad that you ever took on the bet in the first place? Well all in all, after several weeks of studied reflection and contemplation, I'd have to say yes, but I'd also have to agree with the sentiments of Captain Sensible from back in the mid 80's, in other words "I'm glad it's all over."
11) Does Charles Dance? Oh look we've done that one...