Only five more days to go, only 46 more meetings needed, only a miracle can save me now.
But so what if I lose. Fine, I'll have to buy Michael a pay-per-view Sky football season ticket. I'll have to sporadically clean his toilet, the bowl of which usually looks like The Somme after a particularly muddy battle. I may even have to stand at Oxford Circus for one entire day trying to get people to donate to the RNIB (lunch-break allowed by the way).
The question is, has it all been worth it? Well someone once said that "time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of it's students," and I suppose if I had my time again I could safely say that I definitely WOULDN'T have taken part in this crazy folly, but it certainly has had it's moments.
Anyway, back to today and it was off to Heart 106.2 FM to greet two DJ's, greetings numbers 53 and 54 respectively.
On driving to Latimer Road this morning, I was deciding whether or not to spill my thoughts out to Toby Anstis when I met him. You see I was considering asking my latest willing listee for advice on affairs of the heart (he does work for that radio station after all).
Basically, I had a dinner date last night that turned out to be.....well, just dinner. I wasn't upset by the non-responsive attitude of the lovely young lady in question, unfortunately she's a little 'confused' at the moment. In other words, confused about how to get out of the awkward situation of being confronted by someone she doesn't fancy.
Well I've known her for a while, and I just thought I'd test the water. I've always been one to rely on the numbers game to be honest. Tell 1,000 beautiful women that you like them and by the law of averages at least a handful will be willing to go out with you - and that's a mathematical FACT (God Bless John Nash - see 'A Beautiful Mind').
It's worked well for me in the past and there's only two requirements to playing the numbers game - That you have no shame (ie the nerve to approach the lady in question) and no pride (ie that you can live with the inevitable insults).
Well again, I'm deviating a little here but I decided not to burden Toby into giving me relationship advice because where would it all end? I might end up confessing that I was having a mini nervous breakdown due to a blocked bathroom toilet. I'm not sure how it got blocked, the only thing I've been flushing down it is toilet paper and an old manuscript of mine.
So I got to the correct road but couldn't for the life of me find the Chrysalis Building and it was then that something really strange happened. Basically every single person I encountered decided to be unbelievably helpful and altruistic. I'm not sure why, possibly because the sun was shining. Or maybe they'd heard the old proverb "Be nice to other people - They outnumber you 5.5 billion to one".
Cabbies and van drivers let me turn in front of them at will, a toddler waved at me from a bus (surely she doesn't read the Metro), an eastern European man in a newsagents actually offered to walk me to the building and a young Irish lady at a bus stop literally showed me to the door.
All of this put me in a really good mood and made me love London even more. There's a thought, maybe I'll ask London out for Valentine's Day?
Well after the crossed wires of earlier in the week, there were no mistakes today. I arrived early and Jane behind reception kindly made the appropriate calls upstairs.
Toby appeared soon afterwards and really was as nice as 3.1415926...etc. (Don't blame me if you don't understand that. You should have paid attention during double maths instead of scratching your name into the desk with a compass).
Jane took the photo and I was then invited into the canteen to sip coffee but the bean doesn't agree with me early in the morning so I politely declined and bid Toby farewell and good luck with his show at 9.00am.
Fast forward 25 minutes and Jamie Theakston appeared, having finished his show at 9.00am. He too was as sound as a quid and was happy to have the photo taken. He also presented me with the auctionable gift, a Heart t-shirt signed by himself, Toby, as well as a couple of other DJ's Emma B and Greg Jones.
So that was it, two more down, one or possibly two more to go.
By the way, I've just re-read this post and realised that I forgot to mention one particularly heated argument that I had ages ago with that walking contradiction in terms, Michael (who by now you know is the guy I made this bet with).
I believe he ended the argument by screaming "I AM altruistic actually, I wish everyone would just p*** off and leave me alone."
D'you see where I'm coming from.