As he was preparing to draw up the list of 500 for me to meet, I did stress into his flabby ear on more than one occassion that the celebs must be based over here (ie Blighty), just to give me some fair chance of making their acquaintance.
I've already lost count of the amount of 'no' replies I've received, owing to the celebrity in question living abroad.
Latest to be added to that pile is the British heavyweight boxer Audley Harrison. I've just got off the phone to a man in the Harrison camp by the name of Ben, who was kind enough to let me know that said talented pugilist now lives somewhere in the States, and has no plans to come to these drizzly shores before my challenge ends in mid-February.
I will slap Michael when I see him tonight.
Incidentally a friend of mine actually made the snooker equipment for Mr Harrison's new billiards room. Yes, he formed an Audley cue.
Right, I will now officially go and get my coat...