Your emails continue to flood into my inbox everyday. Some contain pearls of wisdom such as "...have you tried contacting Alan Shearer via Newcastle United?" erm strangely enough yes I have MackemGav but thanks for the tip, or "I saw Ronan Keating just off Dean Street recently, if you hang around there he might come back.." Indeed he might Melissa, but aside from the fact that he's not actually on the list that Michael drew up for me, more importantly, I'm sorry I dumped you two years ago.
As David Byrne, the talented if somewhat oddball lead singer of Talking Heads once sang, "..You may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife and you may ask yourself, how did I get here?" and I will answer you- through a fallopian tube and down a birth canal.
Incidentally, that last bit doesn't actually form part of the song, and in fact I only mention the song because it's title happens to be Once in a Lifetime.
Bear with me here.
I received a phone call this morning from a lovely lady called Angela, who happens to be the assistant to David Suchet. David is perhaps best known for his portrayals of Agatha Christie's world-famous mustachioed Belgian sleuth.
No, not Mrs Marple after she's let herself go a little bit, but Hercule Poirot of course, he of the little grey cells. Or was that Wormwood Scrubs...?
Anyway, David is currently appearing in the play Once in a Lifetime, which happens to have nothing to do with you finding yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile, but is in fact a comedy set in the time of the silent movie scene in Hollywood.
So David told Angela to tell me that he is happy to help me out and that I should proceed directly to the National Theatre in early January, (picking up £200 as I pass 'Go').
For that, I am abundantly grateful, even if my grammar is poor. Right I'm off to panic-buy some petrol.