...has returned to Europe from America and is currently engaged in a number of photo-shoots around the continent, none of which, as of yet, include mine. She understandably has other things on her mind.
Ben Fogle is rowing across the Atlantic with James Cracknell. Jim Davidson is on his way to the Dubai Comedy Festival. Salman Rushdie, I believe, is still incommunicado and I've been told that Michael Barrymore has emigrated to New Zealand.
So why on earth is it, that I'm wondering why I haven't received any replies from the receipients of my letters for a few days. I've clearly gone about this in a stupidly haphazard way. If I'd had even the tiniest scintilla of nous or wits about myself, I'd have found out the contact details for the 500 before the 6 month bet had started.
But I didn't.
I desreve everything that befalls me. All I can do is just plough on, like an Ox in a trance.
I've therefore just compiled another 17 letters that will be received in two days time by the representatives of: Paula Radcliffe, Kirsty Young, Alexander McQueen, Todd Carty, David Dimbleby, David Beckham, Sacha Baron Cohen, Richard Stilgoe, Miranda Richardson, Hugh Laurie, Sting, Sue Townsend, Phil Tufnell, Alan Titchmarsh, Kate Moss, Keith Flint and Jane Torvill.