Friday was a very productive day indeed for me. A very busy one. It was bulging with action much like the scrotum of a man who has abstained from sex for 40 years. Anyway I am going to cut and splice this action into three 'fun size' posts, since they relate to different topics.
Firstly a couple of replies were found in my pigeon-hole this morning. Celebrity droppings I guess you could call them. Now at this stage I would like to officialy apologise to Jeremy Clarkson to whom I did a slight disservice the other day. Having received a stock postcard from the offices of the Sun Newspaper (see somewhere else on this website. I can't remember where), I suggested that Jeremy had not actually read my letter. Well this now appears to be wholly innacurate and unfair. I shall now walk through the streets of North London flogging myself. I reckon I'm worth about £3.50
A letter from his personal assisstant, Lucinda, reads:
Many thanks for your letter of July 4th, it sounds like a most interesting bet you have with your friend and I would love to be able to help you. However, I am really sorry but I just can't. We get so many letters from people wanting just a few minutes of Jeremy's time and we have to say no. If we were to allow everyone who asked for a few minutes, in no time at all, Jeremy's day would be totally taken up and he would have no time at all to do all the work he does, so I am really sorry that we are not going to be able to help you win your bet, but hope the enclosed signed photograph will go some way to help.
With all best wishes.....
So there you go. A debt of thanks is owed by me again. I must say, I do greatly admire Jeremy Clarkson. Being someone who speaks their mind, I have always had the utmost respect for other straight-shooters. Unless of course, I disagree with what they're saying. In Jeremy's case I rarely do.
Anyway the other letter that I opened came from 10 Downing street. It read's:
Dear Mr Segal,
The Prime Minister has asked me to thank you for your letter and recent enclosure. I regret that the many calls on Mr Blair's time will make it impossible for him to see you personally.
It was signed by a Mr 'Smith', yet I am sure that Mr Smith is indeed a legitimate member of the PM's inner sanctum as it came from 10 Downing Street's Direct Communications Unit. I'm baffled as to how the Indirect Unit might have replied? Answers on a postcard please (not a Sun Newspapers one).
Not a great surprise there, of course, and again I am grateful for any sort of response at the moment.