Much to my dissapointment, after sending out the first 21 of my 500 letters (see Letters Sent category), the flow of replies from these illuminati, gliteratti, cognescenti and anything alse ending in -ti, through my letterbox, continues to resemble the flow of water through the Serengeti's mud-baked Mbalageti River during a particularly dry 'dry season'. No more than a trickle. One would in fact see a more noticeable trickle watching a man with a bad case of kidney stones urinating.
There is, however, a however, as today I ACTUALLY received my second reply, and so very many thanks to Mr Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear fame (and other car related programmes). I quote it directly:
Thank you very much for taking the trouble to write to Jeremy Clarkson.
The volume of mail received on a weekly basis means Jeremy is not always able to reply personally to every letter. However, he is grateful for your views - whether possitive suggestions or criticism - and will consider all the points you raise.
Once again many thanks for writing.
Now if you think this sounds familiar (see Replies category) it's probably because I received an identical reply from Richard Littlejohn who also happens to write a column for The Sun. I'm delighted to hear that both Richard and Jeremy were "grateful for my views whether positive suggestions or criticism". Hmmm, rather strange, since I don't recall expressing any views. Anyway, I'm equally glad that if nothing else, I'm keeping some office junior in Wapping relatively busy in sending out Sun Postcards. Marvellous.
Michael was indeed right. I'm going to fail his challenge miserably. 2 down 498 to go.....