Greeting the 500
......."and so it begins" to quote a line from Lord of the Rings II shortly before the battle for Helms Deep. Forgive me for that, I'm not some nerdy teenager it's just that I'm excited that my project will finally be underway tomorrow.
Below you will see the list of 500 famous British individuals to who I am writing. Below that you will see the covering letter which, as of tomorrow, I shall be sending to each and every one of them. Hopefully this letter will explain to you what I am doing and why I am doing it. At the end of this post you will see the agreed list of forfeits that either Michael or myself will be forced to endure come January 1st 2006 depending upon how well I do. If anyone reading this would like to sponsor me as I go about my business, please refer to www.justgiving.com/Greetingthe500 all proceeds going to the RNIB. Finally, just to point out that throughout the course of this challenge I hope to be regularly updating this site with pictures of any 'celebrity meetings' that are achieved, as they occurr, is that spelled right? I'm not sure, together with the odd anecdote about me and Michaelwise Gamgee the Brave. Oh ok then, I am a nerd of sorts
The 500
Jenny Agutter Asad Ahmad Caroline Ahern Donna Air Damon Albarn Peter Alliss Martin Amis Clive Anderson Toby Anstis Nicole Appleton Archbishop of Canterbury Jeffrey Archer Joan Armatrading Leslie Ash Jane Asher Rick Astley Rowan Atkinson David Attenborough Richard Attenborough Alan Ayckbourn Steve Backley David Baddiel Bill Bailey David Bailey Clare Balding Zoe Ball Cheryl Baker Danny Baker Tom Baker Iain Banks Jeff Banks Sue Barker Ronnie Barker Sacha Baron Cohen Michael Barrymore Sanjeev Bhaskar Helen Baxendale Jeremy Beadle Sean Bean David Beckham Victoria Beckham Kate Beckinsale David Bellamy Floella Benjamin Nigel Benn Tony Benn Cilla Black Tony Blackburn Cherie Blair Tony Blair Alan Bleasdale Jennie Bond Helena Bonham Carter* Ian Botham Jim Bowen Edith Bowman Boy George Geoff Boycott Billy Bragg Melvyn Bragg Jo Brand Richard Branson Tim Brooke-Taylor Derren Brown Eric Bristow Fern Briton Michael Buerke Julie Burchill Kathy Burke Darcey Bussell Gary Bushell Jenson Button Darren Campbell Naomi Campbell Nicky Campbell Will Carling Jimmy Carr Jasper Carrott Willie Carson Todd Carty Craig Charles Keith Chegwin Linford Christie Charlotte Church Nicky Clarke Jeremy Clarkson Julian Clary John Cleese Martin Clunes Sebastian Coe Joan Collins Robbie Coltrane Sean Connery Billy Connolly Tom Conti Jasper Conran Terence Conran Norman Cook Steve Coogan Jilly Cooper Ronnie Corbett Hugh Cornwell Simon Cowell Steve Cram Mackenzie Crook Barry Cryer John Culshaw Richard Curtis Sophie Dahl Lawrence Dallaglio Paul Daniels Jim Davidson Alan Davies Barry Davies Bobby Davro Steve Davis Peter Davidson Darren Day Cat Deeley Angus Deayton Jack Dee Jermaine Defoe Les Dennis David Dickinson David Dimbleby Declan Donnelly Greg Dyke Sheena Easton Eddie the Eagle Noel Edmonds Adrian Edmonson Johnathon Edwards Ben Elton Tracy Emin Harry Enfield Chris Eubank Chris Evans Lisa Faulkener Vanessa Feltz Alex Ferguson Helen Fielding Ranulph Fiennes Judy Finnigan Colin Firth Dexter Fletcher Keith Flint Andrew Flintoff Keith Floyd Carl Foggarty Ben Fogle Emma Forbes Bruce Forsyth Norman Foster Dr Fox Samantha Fox Mark Lewis Francis John Francome Martin Freeman Anna Freil Dawn French Emma Freud David Frost Sadie Frost Simon Fuller Kirsty Gallagher Liam Gallagher Noel Gallagher George Galloway Leslie Garret Paul Gascoigne Ricky Gervais A.A.Gill Trisha Goddard Duncan Goodhew Dave Gorman Anthony Gormley Damon Gough Darren Gough David Gower Hugh Grant Richard E Grant Leslie Grantham Jimmy Greaves Simon Groom Sally Gunnell William Hague Eric Hall Geri Halliwell Christine Hamilton Neil Hamilton Nick Hancock Ainsley Harriott Keith Harris Audley Harrison Sara Cox John Harvey-Jones Max Hastings Nigel Havers Tony Hawks Stephen Hawking Barry Hearn Stephen Hendry Tim Henman Lenny Henry Sam Heuston James Hewitt Jimmy Hill Damian Hirst Ian Hislop Amanda Holden Noddy Holder Eamonn Holmes Kelly Holmes Jools Holland Bob Holness Anthony Hopkins Trevor Horn Nick Hornby Kate Humble John Humphrys Liz Hurley Glenda Jackson Colin Jackson Marc Jacobs Mick Jagger David Jason Lee Jasper Elton John Dom Joly Aled Jones Tom Jones Vinnie Jones Jordan Boris Johnson Digby Jones Chris Kamara Natasha Kaplinsky Kerry Katona Jay Kay Peter Kay Vernon Kay Penelope Keith Lorraine Kelly Matthew Kelly Martin Kemp Ross Kemp Felicity Kendall Charles Kennedy Nigel Kennedy Patsy Kensit Bill Kenwright John Kettley Richard Keys Jodie Kidd Robert Kilroy Silk Oona King Neil Kinnock Mervyn King Kiera Knightley Cleo Laine Frank Lampard Lynda la Plante Eddie Large Hugh Laurie Jude Law Kate Lawler John Le Carre Rusty Lee Mike Leigh Annie Lennox John Leslie Denise Lewis Lennox Lewis Victor Lewis Smith Robert Lindsay Gary Lineker Maureen Lipman Ralph Little Richard Littlejohn Ken Livingstone Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen Andrew Lloyd Webber Rebecca Loos Matt Lucas Joanna Lumley* Des Lynam Nicholas Lyndhurst Humphrey Lyttleton Ellen MacArthur Cameron Mackintosh Richard Madely John Major Nigel Mansell Michael Mansfield QC Andrew Marr Chris Martin Bernard Matthews Rick Mayall Davina McCall Paul McCartney Stella McCartney Ian McCaskill Malcolm McClaren John McCririck Trevor McDonald Alistair McGowan Rory McGrath Ewan McGregor Ian McKellan Paul McKenna Linsey Dawn McKenzie Colleen McLoughlin Liz McClarnon Andy McNab Ant McPartlin Alexander McQueen Colin McRae Sam Mendes Paul Merton Melinda Messenger George Michael Sienna Miller Bob Mills Anthony Minghella Miss Dynamite Jimmy Mistry Colin Montgomery Patrick Moore Piers Morgan Chris Morris Neil Morrissey Bob Mortimer Kate Moss John Motson Chris Moyles Mystic Meg Prince Naseem Hamed Dennis Norden Barry Norman Richard O Brien Christian O Connell Des O Connor Bill Oddie Martin Offiah Paul O Grady Bruce Oldfield Gary Oldman Dermot O Leary Jamie Oliver Kelly Osbourne Ronnie O Sullivan Michael Owen Michael Palin* Geoffrey Palmer Tara Palmer-Tomkinson Nick Park Michael Parkinson Tony Parsons Nicholas Parsons Joe Pasquale Jeremy Paxman Simon Pegg Raj Persaud Fiona Phillips Matthew Pinsent Courtney Pine Billie Piper Graham Poll Eve Pollard Su Pollard Gail Porter Ian Poulter David Puttnam Jason Quealy Caroline Quentin Paula Radcliffe Gordon Ramsay Esther Rantzen Simon Rattle Claire Rayner Steve Redgrave Louise Redknapp Vic Reeves Tim Rice Cliff Richard Keith Richards Wendy Richards Miranda Richardson Alan Rickman Lisa Riley Guy Ritchie Shane Ritchie William Roach Anne Robinson Tony Robinson Linda Robson Lisa Rogers Wayne Rooney Johnathon Ross Nick Ross Paul Ross Patricia Routledge Salman Rushdie Steve Rider Charles Saatchi Rabbi Jonathan Sacks Oliver Sacks Iqbal Sacranie Jennifer Saunders Jimmy Saville Julia Sawalha Alexei Sayle Phillip Schofield Ridley Scott Will Self Brian Sewell Pat Sharp Suzanne Shaw Alan Shearer John Simpson Rav Singh Clive Sinclair Frank Skinner Carol Smillie Paul Smith Sheridan Smith Zadie Smith Peter Snow Ringo Starr Shaking Stevens Jessica Stevenson Moira Stewart Richard Stilgoe Sting Michaela Strachan Peter Stringfellow David Suchet Alan Sugar Suggs David Sullivan Meera Syal Melanie Sykes Jimmy Tarbuck Lisa Tarbuck Chris Tarrant Bernie Taupin Phil Taylor Margaret Thatcher Jamie Theakston Louis Theroux Daley Thompson Emma Thompson John Thomson Alan Titchmarch Abi Titmuss Ricky Tomlinson Jane Torville Sue Townsend Philip Tuffnel Anthea Turner Denise Van Outen Johnny Vaughan Johnny Vegas Terry Venables John Virgo Carol Vorderman Rebekah Wade Jessie Wallace David Walliams Julie Walters Zoe Wannamaker Dennis Waterman Pete Waterman Rachel Weisz Irvine Welsh Daniella Westbrook Vivian Westwood Fatima Whitbread Paul Whitehouse June Whitfield Anne Widdecombe Johnnie Wilkinson Robbie Williams A.N.Wilson Quentin Wilson Richard Wilson Barbara Windsor Claudia Winkleman Michael Winner Kate Winslett Ray Winstone Dale Winton Ronnie Wood Victoria Wood Clive Woodward Lord Woolf Ian Wright Alan Yentob Thom Yorke Kirsty Young
So there you have it. Just to point out a couple of things about this list. My bet with Michael stipulated that he draw up this list of famous British individuals and that it would include people drawn from a wide array of professions. I also made a couple of other requests, namely that they generally live in this country and that they be living (I deemed the alternative to be a rather sick idea). Finally, three people in the above list have stars by their names, Joanna Lumley, Michael Palin and Helena Bonham Carter. This is because it has been brought to my attention that all three already do countless charitable work for the RNIB and I thus thought it appropriate to replace them. Michael agreed. His say is final. They have been replaced by Roger Moore, Murray Walker and Joss Stone.
Having said that, we already have some dissent in the ranks. Basically I'm pretty convinced that not everyone on this list is British. However, as there appears to be only one or two exceptions I told Mike that, like a bad case of intestinal gas, I'd let it pass. More worringly, some of these people definitely reside overseas. I demanded Michael knock 3 or 4 people of my 100 meetings target to make up for this. He has refused and so I will not be returning his lighter in the shape of a Colt 45. that I accidently borrowed the other day. Anyway, the letter........
The Letter
Greeting The 500 - A Social Experiment
Dear ,
I am aware that you are a very busy individual, but all I ask is that you kindly read what I have to say before deciding whether or not to act upon it or to crumple up this letter and aim for the bin.
You will note an attached list of 500 names, all of whom have received/will receive an identical letter to this one. My request might seem a little peculiar, but I assure you that it is totally genuine. Although you obviously have no idea who I am, if you are able to check either of the websites:
http://greetingthe500.typepad.com or
www.justgiving.com/greetingthe500, this will provide you with a little information about who I am and what I am doing.
In its simplest terms, my project, Greeting the 500, was a bet that was issued to me by a friend. The consequences of losing this bet, for either of us, are very serious. The only people that can help me are (all of) you. My friend Michael has a pretty dim view of the human race, not least of all well-known individuals. Our recent conversation in a pub had him pontificating, like some modern day George Orwell, that once a person achieved success in his/her field, they would raise themselves above the masses and other than signing autographs, would rarely help Joe Public unless they personally benefited from doing so.
Having slightly more faith in mankind, I disagreed. We argued, he shouted and swore and ultimately issued my challenge. I have 6 MONTHS TO MEET AS MANY OF THESE 500 INDIVIDUALS AS POSSIBLE. He drew up the list. ‘Meet’ means have my picture taken shaking your hand, that is all. I will travel to meet YOU, wherever you like. This will take no more than two minutes of your time, whenever you like, in a six month period (1st July - 31st December).
He believes that not more than 20% ie. 100 people maximum, will agree to this. The better or worse than 100 I achieve, the more unpleasant and numerous our forfeits will be. Many of you are by now probably at letter crumpling stage, I just ask you to have mercy. The only thing to add, and this is entirely optional, is that if you will kindly agree to this ‘meeting’, could you possibly bring some small memento, anything at all, that I could auction at the end of my challenge, giving the money to the Royal National Institute for the Blind. I repeat, that bit is optional and has no bearing on my bet.
Well that’s it really. If you’ve got this far, (or your agent has, before he/she KINDLY PASSES THIS ON TO YOU), I thank you, and keep my fingers crossed that I might hear from you at the address/email address or mobile phone number above.
Kind regards,
Julian Segal
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I'm not sure how many of these people will deem me worthy of an audience, but I shall certainly keep you updated on my progress.....
